Stay Signed In
Do you want to access your site more quickly on this computer? Check this box, and your username and password will be remembered for two weeks. Click logout to turn this off.
Stay Safe
Do not check this box if you are using a public computer. You don't want anyone seeing your personal info or messing with your site.
Hello! This is nay my dearest friend Bitten; it is I! The Hamlet of Venice! Yes, it is I, thine own heart spilt upon the terrace! Alas! Fair Bitten has been enthroned upon the hearts of wild beasts, and so, therefore in mine own good graces, have agreed to help mine dear friend.
LIES! YOU SPEAK LIES!
(cough) Shut up, insolent fool! Now, on to my glorious of fames, and the heart of mine own dearest wishes. This fine work I call Burnt Passion. I bid thee farewell.
“Yes I know you had to go the Middle East to buy pasta but why how why can't you go after the dance? Please!”
Ok next seen
At the psychiatrist office
“What’s your problem?”
“Well um... yesterday um…well my cow um…well, he bit me!”
“That’s a problem if I’ve ever heard one!”
“Um…yea I know.”
“How do you feel about your cow now that he’s bit you?”
“Um…well I think he's mean!”
“Do you want to hurt your cow?”
“Um…yea I think I’m going to roast him when I get home.”
“Ok now what does this ink blot remind you of?”
“Um…it reminds me of well...I think it is a piece of beef!”
“Ok next picture.”
“Oh those are brussle sprouts I licks brussle sprouts!”
New scene
At the dentist office waiting room
“Hi I’m here to see Dr. Young!”
“Oh are you Jeany Jackson?”
“Yes I am!”
“Ok he'll be with you in a couple of minutes.”
“Thank you.”
Jeany Jackson sits down in the very small waiting room
Another person comes in and walks up to the secretary
“Hi I’m here to see Dr. Young and nurse Jane.”
What the heck?
“Oh are you Jon Bebblehimer?”
Sure why not
“Yes.”
“Ok the doctor will be with you in a couple of minutes.”
Oh, my dear friend, have you finally lost your sanity as well?
I think I have gone insane
Uhuh
So I who is insane is talking to another insane person so we're technically sane each other for the moment
Um...good logic
You win a million dollars
Yea!
Please end this though
Then Jon Beeblhimer went and sat down next to Jeany Jackson
Then a third patient came in and the patient was a camel named BOB Longerhump.
BOB Longerhump went to the secretary and said “I’m here to see Dr. Desert.”
Noooo! change his name!
Hold on! Change his name!
Why?
I already have a Bob!
“Fine Ben. No wait Billy.”
“Ok Billy Longerhump.”
The secretary said umm… “Sir er…uhhh thin no wait animal?”
“It’s Billy Longerhump.”
“Oh Mr. Longerhump we do not have a Dr. Desert with us!”
“Umm you must be mistaken because I know that Dr. Desert called me and said I have an appointment at 440 state street NW 35427 and this is where I am?”
“Well do you mean Dr. Debert?”
LIZZY! STOP! END! DONE! FINISH! CAPUT! CASPLAT!
“Ohh yes I’m sorry that’s it! Oh ok well we do have you down for him just one minute have a seat over there next to Jeany Jackson and Jon Beebblhimer.”
Sorry
When you have an idea though you just can’t stop
“Ok thank yous?”
“Ms. Kinmer.”
“Oh thank you Ms. Kinmer.”
AND THEY DIED!
Not yet
THEY GOT SMASHED WITH MY HAMMER!
And the end.
Right…sorry about that, guys, she’s really nice most of the time and…oh crap…NO! LIZZY! NOT THE TAZERS! AHHHH!
You are mine life that thou hath slain upon the throne of wild beasts. Thy hath died a wretched death to which I can never forgive thineself.
For it was I! I hath betrayed you! Knowing that it was mine fault to which you died is too much for thine to bare. I curse the day that I was born. Because of my greed thee is gone, all of the times we shared are now gone . And fair Bitten is dead. –The Hamlet of Venice
NOW LET THINE THOUGHTS GO FOR THINE HATH COME UPON A GREAT EVIL WHICH THOU HAST NEEDITH TO DEAL WITH! It is a sorrowful time inith our walls. For the King of Shovels is dead and so is hesith doubles!
REJOICE! For today is the day that thee and thou are to be wed in holy matrimony! Thisith day shall be known as the day that I and Boxy are blessed with each other! UNTO DEATH DO WE PART! I am no longer Bitten by a bouvine. But the Hamlet Of Venice!
What the heck?
Sure why not
my 2nd story!
MITCH LOOKITH UNDERNIETHITH THE CARDS AND SAW THE WORSTITH THINGITH THAT COULD HAVE BEENITH THERE
A 2ITH AND A 5ITH'
THE ONLY TWO CARDSITH THAT HE DIDN'TITH WANT!
I TWAS ALL THEREITH FOR HIMITH
THE ACEITH THE KINGITH THE QUEENITH THE 10ITH
THE 9ITH AND THE 8ITH
AND THE 7ITH
THE 4ITH
“CALLITH YOUR BIDITH”
YELLEDITH THE JAILERITH!
"Oh sucketh."
HE WAS GAMBLING WITH HISITH FREEDOMITH
AND HE WAS GOING TO LOSEITH
...
TO BE COMTINUED!
ITH
HE CALLEDITH HIS BID
HIS LAST 2ITH COINS
THE JAILER LOOKED SURPRISEDITH
BUT CARRIEDITH ON WITH THE MATCHITH
“NAMEITH YOUR CARDS!!”
MITCH SAIDITH
“2ITH AND A 5ITH!!”
THE JAILER GRINNEDITH AN EVILITH SMILEITH
HE STOODITH UP AND SAID “FOLLOWITH ME.”
MiTCH GOT IP AND FOLLOWED. “THIS IS YOUR CELLITH
YOU BETTER GET USEDITH TO ITITH”
THE JAILER SHOWEDITH HIS CARDSITH AFTER HE HAD LOCKEDITH MITCH UP………………………………….
THEY WEREITH A 2ITH AND A 5ITH!!!
Oh, my dear friend, have you finally lost your sanity as well?
Uhuh
Um...good logic
You win a million dollars
Please end this though
Noooo! change his name!
Hold on! Change his name!
I already have a Bob!
LIZZY! STOP! END! DONE! FINISH! CAPUT! CASPLAT!
AND THEY DIED!
Right…sorry about that, guys, she’s really nice most of the time and…oh crap…NO! LIZZY! NOT THE TAZERS! AHHHH!
Thine own spirit rest upon the chance of thou leavesting!
